lifeisgood

Out of the mouths of babes…or, in this case, a 13 year old. My daughter has taken an interest in the presidential campaign and surrounding issues. She noticed that the same people who are against the war also tend to be pro-abortion. She asked me why they want to stop the loss of life in the middle East but not the lives being lost to abortion. I had no good answer, because there is no logical answer to that question.

This issue is personal for us, not only because we are pro-lifers, but because my brother is in Iraq - his second TOD there, third in the middle East - voluntarily fighting for the safety of all Americans, as a Sergeant in the Army Special Forces 10th Mountain Division. My brother was able to make this decision to put his own life on the line in a war being fought for the freedoms and safety of others.  Unborn babies get no choice about whether they live or die.

Whatever one’s beliefs and political leanings, encouraging our teenagers to exercise independent and critical thinking is priceless. Life is good.

This isn’t about ideology. It’s not about platform issues like the economy, national security, or family values. It’s not even about Palin’s federal dollar earmarks, her pregnant teenager, or her inexperience in national affairs. What it’s really about is the fact that she is a woman. Democrats have long enjoyed the lion’s share of the female vote. The nomination of Sarah Palin for VP has thrown the DNC into a panic from which they will be lucky to recover by election day.

In reality, even if the democratic party and base regain their footing from the nomination of Sarah Palin for veep, it is an event which will affect politics forever. This is the crux of the frenzied democratic attack on Palin. Republicans beat dems to the punch in putting a female on the presidential ticket.

Sarah Palin is a woman who can’t be controlled by the democratic party — this scares them more than the most qualified candidate in the world.

So, my mother has gotten her wish. I have a teenage girl who not only informs me on a daily basis that “it isn’t fair!” and “you’re ruining my life!”, but in addition, has decided that her hair needs to be a different color every two weeks and pierced her own nose (which required me to rescue her when she couldn’t get it all the way through and walked around the house with the stud hanging halfway out of her nostril, crying “It hurts! It hurts! What do I do?? It hurts!!!”

What is my genius response to these cries of unfairness? “Too bad, life isn’t supposed to be fair!” and that all-time classic, “Because I’m the mom, that’s why!” Before I became a parent I laughed in derision at those pathetic individuals who had to turn to the brainless platitudes their parents passed on to them. Ha. The joke’s on me.

But, it’s not all drama. She is a typical teenager (shhh, she hates that word). She’s also incredibly talented – she can draw, she can sing, and her photography is absolutely stunning. She has more talent in her pinky finger than I have in my whole body, and I am so proud of who she is becoming. Now if we can make it to her adulthood without tearing each other’s throats out during a dual attack of PMS, it’ll all be good.

My mother spent my entire adolescence living for this day…yearning for it with every bone in her body. As it approached, she could be seen rubbing her hands together and grinning in gleeful anticipation. What moment is that, you may ask? No, not the moment she became a grandmother…or the moment her children graduated college…nothing as qualified for a tearjerker Hallmark commercial…no, the moment of which I speak is that oh-so-vindicating moment when I became the mother of a teenager.

You see, teenagers have a way of inspiring hope in parents; hope that one day, those teenagers will get to experience the joys of being on the other side, so to speak. And oh, how I’ve gotten to be on the other side.

So - according to the glossy fluff mags, all you need for a fulfilling sex life is a beach or a bottle full of erotic-smelling massage oil (you probably don’t want both…because then we’re back to that sand in the crack thing, and with the oil…well, let’s just say you’re probably in for a long shower rather than a romantic evening…). Now, I’m not saying romance is a bad thing - it certainly helps. But if neither you nor your partner are proficient drivers, the fanciest car in the world isn’t going to take you where you want to go.

Back to the research - there are oodles of studies and surveys documenting women’s sexual issues. The majority don’t have vaginal orgasms, and many aren’t able to climax every time. Women know that among their friends, especially those who are moms, there is much talk about not wanting sex, not enjoying sex, and an all-around dissatisfaction - or worse, apathy - about their sex lives. I’m sure that some women are actually sexually dysfunctional for a physical or emotional reason (sexual abuse can greatly impact a woman’s feelings about sex with her spouse - this diatribe is not meant to offend or insult those women who have serious sexual challenges due to a reason outside of their control). In general, however, I refuse to believe that the majority of women are broken.

Many couples get into a routine. Some may be intimidated by the idea of researching exactly how to improve their sex life. Think of it like this - you wouldn’t eat soup with a fork for very long. You’d keep trying different things until you found what worked better to get the food to your stomach and satisfy your hunger (a spoon! aha!). Don’t settle for mediocrity in the bedroom either. When you do, sex then becomes a duty…a necessary obligation which many women feel they have to fulfill, like doing the laundry.

It doesn’t have to be this way. It can be good. Really good. Women were not designed to only climax by way of clitoral stimulation. If that were the case, intercourse would not be the way we procreate. At the base level, sex is supposed to be enjoyable so that we are compelled to do it, hence reproduce. Women have an amazing mechanism to this end, called the g-spot. You may already know this spot well, or you may have only heard the word and thought it was some mysterious thing which is out of your reach, so to speak. Rest assured, however, it is there, and with practice can improve your intimate life to an extent you probably never dreamed possible. Don’t be afraid to read up, investigate, research, go through trial and error. Both partners, not just the woman, need to understand the g-spot - its location as well as how it works. The g-spot is one of the most misunderstood, under-utilized sexual tools, and yet it’s the one that can really make your intimate relationship explode, literally. I’m out of time for today, but you can read more here…

I really didn’t plan for my first post to be about sex. But that happens to be what I’m riled about just now. Thanks to a recent spate of kids’ appointments and various similar opportunities to peruse women’s trash magazines for which I would never actually pay good money, I’ve been enlightened as to just how unenlightened these publications, and women in general, are regarding how to have a good sex life.

To give you an idea of the type of advice offered in these “Have Hot Sex With Your Man Tonight!” articles…they tend to involve a beach at sunset, slinky lingerie, and/or fantasizing that your partner is someone else. Let’s get real. Unless you’re on vacation and are jonesin’ for sand up your crack, what grown adult is going to rescue their sex life on a beach? And if you have to pretend your partner is someone else, why aren’t you with THAT person instead??

Okay, so let’s move on. Candles…sweet little notes…a romantic, painstakingly prepared gourmet meal…this could work, but still, it’s only going to happen once in a blue moon, especially for those couples who have children. Role-playing is another favorite of sex advice columnists, and I gotta say, if anyone - man or woman - can actually get turned on by watching their partner parade around in a ridiculous get-up, hey, have at it!

Research indicates that up to 40% of women are sexually dysfunctional in some way, and only 30% experience vaginal orgasm. Tune in for my next post, which will delve into the question of whether that many women are truly sexually flawed, or if there is something else at play…